Not sure what 36 is supposed to feel like but it feels just right. I don’t feel old, I don’t feel young…I guess I just feel another year wiser.
They say that age is just a number; you’re only as old as you feel.
Do you agree?
I’d take this statement even deeper and suggest that aging is what forms our state of mind and emotion. As we get older, our mind absorbs what it’s fed, what it experiences and we become more connected and conscious of our emotions (good or bad depending on our environment).
Is that too intense for you?
Aging can feel really good if we are constantly working on our personal growth and creating a positive environment in our lives…or it can feel like a battle, a constant struggle if we don’t feed our minds or pursue our desires.
Many of you may already know that I had tough beginnings as a child of 6, raised by a single mom. I had to quickly learn how to cook, clean, do laundry, earn my own money, watch over siblings, find rides to games, pay my way through college, find an apartment, get a job. It’s amazing how quickly a person can learn and grow when the environment demands it.
But what about when the environment doesn’t demand that we learn and grow.
Have you ever found yourself at a stand still in life?
Nothing new is happening, nothing changing, nothing progressing or regressing?
I reflected back on all my years growing up and realized the hardest years for me to continue growing and progressing was after things got comfortable.
I’m not talking comfortable in the sense that my career, finances, relationships and everything was where I wanted it to be…not even close. I mean comfortable in the sense that I had a job, I could pay my bills, I was healthy and I had good friends.
Would you say you are comfortable right now? Maybe still have some dreams to fulfill but things are good? Don’t get me wrong. It’s ok to be comfortable as long as we’re still growing.
I think we all need to keep our spirit and ambition in “young fighter’ mode in order to keep growing and living our best lives, don’t you?
Whether you’re comfortable and happy right where you are or you have more to achieve, each year is an opportunity to develop a wiser state of mind and greater joy in our lives.
I’d love to share 5 Life Lessons that I’ve embraced as I’ve grown to be 36 and I’d encourage you to share some of yours below as well. We can all afford to keep learning from each other.
At 36 years old I landed in Venice, Italy on my birthday morning (August 19th) and it was the beginning of what I would say was a trip of a lifetime (Big Dream Check).
My husband Vito and I planned a 14-day trip to celebrate our 1-year anniversary and a year of hard work and dedication to our businesses.
It was during this trip that different situations and experiences allowed me to reflect on the type of mindset and woman I had become up till this point in my life. I hope they serve you well.
Lesson #1:”If storms should come, then we shall dance in the rain”!
True Story: It starts pouring rain after dinner and our only option is to walk 20 minutes through the Venice streets back to the hotel… without an umbrella.
What would you do? Dance or cry?
It’s all about our perspective in life.
We have a choice to make in every situation we encounter. Having a positive or negative mindset will determine how we experience life and what we get from each situation.
How we react to unfortunate situations, especially when they are so minor (like getting caught in the rain) tells us a lot about how we are choosing to live our lives.
Choose to have fun and dance in the face of obstacles versus feeling miserable and sad with every opportunity you have.
Lesson #2: Allow your first love to be ‘self’.
True Story: While visiting Lake Bled in Slovenia I saw this beautiful heart, perfect for a picture with Vito but I also wanted one by myself. I was with a friend who took the picture and then I offered to take her picture inside the heart as well. She kindly declined thinking it’s just for couples or families but I didn’t see it that way. I insisted she jump inside a picture to show the love she has for herself.
To love ones self takes working on the inside layers…how we think and feel about ourselves.
We tend to work on the outside layers much more often to feel better about ourselves…to feel reinvigorated. Buy a new dress, dye our hair or get our nails done.
I do the same!
But feeling touched up on the outside doesn’t help how we feel on the inside, right?
We are all beautiful, have unique talents, give value to the world and those we love!
SO WE MUST LOVE OURSELVES!
Love doesn’t require perfection. Love doesn’t hold standards. Love doesn’t require a significant other.
Love begins inside our own hearts and minds and we must feel it within us in order to be open to receive it from others.
Lesson #3: Build a reality you don’t want to escape
True Story: I was sitting on this incredibly high ledge overlooking the Adriatic Sea and I was overwhelmed by a deep sense of freedom…and a slight sense of fear all at once! I was reflecting on our travels so far and how we love to explore and travel whenever we can to fully embrace the beautiful cultures, people, food and places of this world. I felt grateful for this FREEDOM to be living my dreams and for the life I had created to get here.
Traveling and taking vacation should not be an escape from our reality, yet a part of our reality.
It’s critical to work hard towards creating a reality that aligns with our purpose and passions.
How do we do that? By taking the time to work on who we are, what we want, how we think, how we spend our energy.
Taking time to journal what you love most about your reality, what you’d like to change, improve.
Then take action. Are you willing to do the work?
Lesson #4: Do what feels difficult or scary in order to grow
I looked at this 15-foot jump from below and it didn’t seem scary at all. I thought it would be fun, even though I would never bungee jump or sky dive. This seemed easy.
I was totally WRONG! When I got to the top, it looked like a 50 foot drop.
Way bigger challenge and risk than I had thought. I wanted to change my mind. But my friends were all yelling to be brave, JUST JUMP, you can do it, it’s not as high as it seems, don’t think about it.
I have a 2-minute video of them talking me into it before I just finally jumped!
Have you ever thought something was going to be so easy and fun and it turns out to be so much harder than you thought?
Who pushes you to get past the fear, tough choices and obstacles?
Think about that feeling of accomplishment you’ve had after overcoming a fear and accomplishing a goal you set for yourself!
IT FEELS AMAZING!
I’m pretty sure that I won’t do this jump again, but I’m so glad I tried it.
Just like with anything in life, doing what feels difficult or scary helps us grow. We learn more about ourselves each challenge we face.
Next time there’s a jump, I’ll know it’s not for me. Not out of fear but from wisdom.
If there is a jump (challenge) you aren’t taking out of fear of how you’ll feel or how you’ll land, reconsider.
Sometimes we have to push past our fears and go for it in order to know if it’s truly something we want or to simply grow from the experience.
Lesson #5: Get serious about your goals but don’t get impatient
True story: We visited a beautiful oyster farm in Croatia and took a boat to this private island surrounded by several other oyster farms to learn about the farming process and to taste the end result! I learned that it takes 3 years to produce 1 mature oyster and about 2 seconds to enjoy making it disappear. I love oysters!
We all take for granted how much time is required for 1 delicious oyster!
I realized that this type of growth is just like our health, it takes time to become it’s best.
If we want to develop better strength, healthier habits and a more powerful mindset it will take time just like an oyster! We don’t become our best selves the day we decide to, just like an oyster doesn’t become fully mature the day it starts to grow.
Get started but give yourself time!
Get serious but don’t get impatient!
Don’t give up because the end result is so worth it!!
Be your best oyster!
I hope you will remember these stories and life lessons as it pertains to your own life and be open to always learning and growing from your own experiences.
It’s exciting to think about how much we can learn in a lifetime if we are open to growth.
My passion is to empower women to live their best lives. We do this through self love, overcoming negative thoughts and behaviors that limit our growth, and embracing practices that help us thrive not just survive.
In my 4-week course, The Sexy Confident Woman Formula, we do this together and I’d love for you to join us in our upcoming session.