Episode #52: The Power of “Becoming More Present”
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Today we go deeper in your practice of staying present. Presence isn’t something we try once in a while and expect to get better at, it’s something we must practice doing. Similar to being an olympic athlete, artist or musician. You can’t perform well unless you practice.
The opposite of being present is being scatter brained, distracted, consumed by thoughts.
Being present in the moment to moment experiences of your days is the difference between feeling engaged or disconnected to the things, people or places around you.
Let’s become fully engaged in our lives so that we can live a more fulfilling, joyful and meaningful life.
There is no better time than spring time to talk about presence because every time there’s a season change, I like to think it’s a time where we can embrace changes, even when it’s a struggle or even unpleasant. There’s a power to being more present, and I want to talk to you about why we want to have this power – the power of being present in our lives, our surrounds, and with the people, places and experiences that we have.
Recently, we’ve talked about People Pleaser Syndrome, Overwhelm, and Comparison. One of the best ways to get rid of all three of those things is becoming more present in our lives. If we can do that, a lot of the things that tend to stress us out can start to fade away.
Presence isn’t just something you can have. Developing presence takes practice, just like if you were a musician, artist, or athlete. You have to practice the skills to get better at being present.
If you want to get fit, you have to practice.
If you want to be healthier, you have to make it a practice.
You have to do it consistently and you have to put it on your agenda.
If you want to get better at something and truly improve that skill, you have to practice. So, if you want to become more present you have to… PRACTICE!
I know you’re thinking it sounds good, but I know this will really help you. The opposite of being present is being “scatter-brained” or distracted, and none of us want to be described like that, right?
Imagine this. You’re at work, but you have Facebook open on your computer. You’ve got your email open. Your mind is everywhere, except on your work. Or, you’re making love and you’re thinking about a past fight that you had with your love or you’re thinking about a future project or task that you have to get done. You’re not present in the moment. Your mind is somewhere else.
Every moment of your life matters. Whether it’s a memory, a lesson, experience – it’s going to be something you will remember when you’re in your last days of life. You’ll reflect on the moments that mattered. You don’t want to miss them because you were distracted or scattered.
When we’re disconnected, we lose the quality of our relationships. Whether it’s your husband, boyfriend, your kids, friends, co-workers, projects – if you’re not fully engaged, the quality of those relationships is damaged.
I want you to learn and grow more with each and every time you come in contact with something or someone that changes you. I want you to experience your life and not let life pass you by. Life will go on, but you’ll miss it all if you’re too distracted.
I feel like the older we get the faster life goes by. So let’s get practicing!
Be aware when you’re doing multiple things at once, rather than focusing on one thing. Maybe you’re working on a project at work, but you’ve also got Facebook open, email open, you’re booking appointments, checking things off your to-do list. But how are you really going to get that project done? Shut down your email. Shut down your social media. Turn your phone on silent so you don’t hear the notifications ding every two seconds. Tell everyone in the office that you’re unavailable. Do whatever you have to do in order to get fully engaged and DO NOT multitask during that time.
It’s the same when you’re out to dinner with friends. If you’re trying to check work emails or touching on some social media messages that you had while trying to have dinner with friends, are you truly having dinner with friends? Not at all.
Get rid of distractions. Put the phone away (but not before turning it to silent or airplane mode). Think about all the things that you have to do to not be distracted by all the other things that want to draw your attention away from where you should be.
My mentor, Brendon Burchard shared a great story. When he leaves work and goes home, he has to check in with himself. He has to say, “I’m switching gears right now, from work mode to husband mode.” He thinks about who he wants to be when he walks through the door, who he wants to show up as. Do I want to walk in as the frazzled, stressed, lots to do, distracted husband or do I want to go in as the supportive loving husband? He chooses to be supportive and loving, caring about his wife, her day and their life together.
Our minds drift, when we’re transitioning from one thing to another. We go from work to family life and back to work. You have to bring it to the present.
Meditate every day, even for just five minutes. You’re training your brain to eliminate the thoughts and become present in the moment. Not thinking about anything else except what I’m doing right now. I’m sitting here, I’m listening to the birds or music or my breath. I’m not thinking about anything except how my body feels, how the air feels, and what’s around me. There’s no other thoughts, and it’s a practice that those who have the most peaceful minds have mastered.
Random thoughts will try to infiltrate. It’s normal. You have to swat them to the side and recenter your focus. Check in with our thoughts and choose to be fully engaged in the present moment instead.
We have to choose to engage more. Being aware is important, but choosing to engage more is the key. You have to say “I’m here with this person right now. I want to be with them, fully dialed into them.” You know there have been times where you’re there, but you’re not really there, right? Focus on really being there. Make this a life principle. Not just a good idea, but a core value you have for your life. When you do that, it changes your perspective on how you really implement these habits.
When I’m with family, I’m with family. When I’m working, I’m with my work. When I’m at a team function, I’m with my team. When I’m with my husband, I’m with my husband. No distractions. Fully engaged. More present.
If you value this as a core principle, you’ll start to practice these things more often. It will go from being a good idea to where you start telling your friends to do it to!
Preach it, teach it, share this post! Make it a goal for you and your friends, or you and your family to have this kind of real connection and commit to being more present with each other when it’s appropriate. I truly want you to have these improved relationships throughout your life.
More gratitude = greater productivity, joy, and fulfillment
Your growth and learning is going to improve. The quality of your life experiences will shoot through the roof.
What matters most at the end of our lives, as we take our very last breath?
Knowing that we were present for our loved ones!
I hope you will begin practicing avoiding the disconnect and becoming more present in the day to day.
Are you living the fully engaged life you want to? If not, jump into my FREE 5-Day High Performance Mastery Course and level up the clarity, courage, productivity and influence you bring to each and every day.
