Episode #54: STOP the Insanity! 3 Reasons You Get Stuck
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It’s INSANE to keep doing the same thing while expecting a different result, isn’t it?
The reason most people get stuck is because they are resistant to trying new things.
This might be because they #1. Fear trying new things #2. Are Pessimistic about the outcome #3. Don’t like the process of change.
Today we are going to discuss why we must try new things if we truly want to progress in our lives and the 3 Benefits of stepping out side the comfort zone.
Bust out a pen and paper if you can!
Today we’re going to Stop the Insanity. As somebody on the end of teacher, influencer, course creator, someone that’s always trying to share her experiences, wins, tools, and skills that truly helped me be successful in my life. I’m always trying to pay that forward. That’s why I created my own business because I was like, You know what? I want to share an important message. I want to get some very important things out into the world to change lives.
So many people out there want change, whether it’s in their fitness, their relationships, business, careers, whatever it might be -so many people are longing for change yet not willing to try new things. Not willing to make change, but if we want change, it requires change.
When I say “stop the insanity”, it’s that whole philosophy of don’t keep doing the same thing and expecting a different result. You all know that’s common sense, right? However, how often do you sit back and say, “Wow, I’ve been really complaining about this in my life, but what have I actually done to change things up? To change my behavior, change my philosophy, change my strategy or whatever it might be in order to experience a different result?”
I think there are three top things that are holding people back. Why people are stuck? Why they’re not changing?
There are also three huge reasons why people aren’t getting over that and overcoming the things and the obstacles that are holding you back from trying new things and not expecting a different result. No matter what, there are three major benefits to putting that effort out there, or to making that change, or to digging in deeper, if you really truly want things to happen in your life, to progress, to move forward, or what it ever it might be.
I have conversations with not just women in the United States, but all over the world, and there’s a very common thing that I see, and that is someone reaching out for help, really expressing a struggle. I’ll share some tools, or some resources, or some things that can really target that struggle, that can help them overcome the obstacle that they’re facing, and then the response that I get is either a reason why they can’t do that, an excuse. It can be any kind of excuse. It can be a fear excuse, a financial excuse, a pessimistic excuse, or whatever it might be. There’s always a reason why they don’t want to take that first step.
I always sit back and question, “Okay, well, I got to do a better job of educating so they understand the benefit of taking this opportunity in doing this.” Even when I’m talking about crush the sugar cravings and people are like, “Yes! I have that problem. I want to do that.” Then, I tell them the things that they need to do and they’re like, “Oh well, no. I don’t want to do that. I can’t afford that. I don’t want to try that.” So, I think to myself, “Why? Why is it that people are so resistant for different things, trying new things, taking chances, exploring options?”
Those three things come down to number one, fear. I think that so many people are stuck because they’re afraid to take changes.
Ultimately, that’s the top thing. I think it’s fear, and it doesn’t matter where that fear comes from. It’s something inside of you that’s saying, “No, I don’t want to do that. I know, no. No, not for me.” I don’t know if it’s fear of it not working for you, or if it’s fear that the grass might not be greener. It’s kind of like, “It won’t work for me.” Fear that you might miss out on other things if you take this other opportunity. Maybe you’re still looking for something better?
I remember when I decided I was going to move to California all the way from Boston. My friends were like, “What? You’re kidding me? What are you going to do out there? You don’t have any friends out there. You don’t have a job out there. You don’t have any family out there. What the heck are you going to go and do in California?” I was like, “You know, I just want to go. I want to try something new.” It’s been a dream of mine, my whole life and if I let the fear of not having a job already lined up, not having family there to support me, not having any friends to hang out with, then I never would have explored and discovered the life I have today.
That goes along with everything. If I had never taken the chance and invested in a program called High Performance Coaching with Brendon four years ago, I wouldn’t be where I am today. It was a $10,000 investment, and it was scary. It was a huge financial investment for me, but I thought to myself, I know that this could be the difference between me being an excellent coach and mentor to others, and me just always struggling to figure it out on my own. How am I going to be a better coach to people? How am I going to help them break through the challenges in their life? How am I going to be a better speaker and influencer? Since I didn’t have a better choice at the time, I said, “This is the choice. This is the decision I make.” There’s so many options like that in your life.
I think the second thing that holds people back is that pessimistic point of view. Maybe it won’t work. Maybe I won’t be a better coach. Maybe California will be crazy and I’ll have to spend all this money all my life savings of a whole $3,000, and I won’t have anything to show for it.
We have that pessimistic perspective about a lot of things not working the way we want them to. The outcome might not be what we want, or the advice that we’re being given isn’t what we want to hear. We’re skeptical about the person giving it to us. So, we have the barriers up. We build a wall, a protective wall. That’s okay, but if that’s always holding you back from taking action and making change, it’s going to hurt. It’s going to be devastating to your growth. To allow that pessimism and the fear of what if to hold you back from trying something.
The third thing is, is that most people don’t like change. They like routine. It’s like, “Oh my gosh, this is going to require effort. Got to get out of my comfort zone. I really like my routine. I don’t like making big changes in my life.” So, I know that immediately those changes that are required and that mixing it up of the routine, can sometimes throw people into that fear as well like, “No, no, no. That whole process is going to suck.”
This learning is going to be a challenge and that’s okay, right? The fear of taking chances, and the pessimistic perspective, and the inability to want to get out of the comfort zone – those three things are keeping people stuck where they are because they’re not reaching out. They’re not breaking free of those things in order to grow, in order to advance in their life, in order to experience new things.
I always say that if we step outside the comfort zone, we’re going to have three major benefits of doing that. I want you to hear me now. I want you to really listen in, because if right now you’re thinking about something that you want to try but you’re just hesitant. Your gut instinct is going to tell you, “This is a really bad idea, so probably don’t do that,” or it’s like all these other things holding you back. Not that it’s a bad idea, not that anything’s have been proven to go wrong in this situation, not that you have any real reason tangibly not to do it, but the fears, the pessimism, the inability to want to change, those are the things holding you back from saying yes.
Decide today that you’re not going to let any of those things hold you back. There’s no real danger for you in taking this chance, and taking this opportunity, and making a different route towards the path of success, because if you’re looking to get healthy, and you’re just stuck in your same routine, and you’re just doing the same old thing, and then somebody brings an idea up and it’s like, “Hey, well, if you did this, you’d probably get these different results, or if you try this kind of an eating pattern, or this type of nutritional supplement, or this type of a gut cleanse, or whatever it is that you’re struggling with, it would change your life.” You’re like, “No, I don’t think so.”
Ask yourself what is the real danger?
What is really holding me back from taking that opportunity or that adventure? Has it been proven to hurt people? Is it not worth your time or your effort because the result isn’t worth it? There’s so many people that have jumped in to my Sexy Confident Woman Formula Course, but they are struggling with the confidence of knowing how to take care of their body, how to think well about themselves, how to really strategize and feel good about their relationships with food. I say, “this is a really good mentorship program for that”, and they say, “No.”
What are you afraid of?
What are you worried about? Or is it the effort of doing this that is going to really hold you back from taking action?
I guess the result that you want isn’t that important to you. We’ve always got to ask ourselves, is the effort – is overcoming that fear, is doing that thing worth it for the outcome that we want? Because listen, if you step outside your comfort zone, if you go for something new to get a different result in your life, then what are the benefits to that?
You’re going to learn.
You’re going to gain wisdom. No matter what opportunity or chance that you take, unless it’s life threatening or dangerous which I don’t want any of you guys to do, you learn. You grow. You become more wise. When you get those experiences under your belt, they’re not a waste of time. They’re not a waste of anything. They’re a gain of experience and wisdom. So, if something doesn’t work out, check. I know that’s not a good pattern.
People always say, “I’ve tried everything.”
“Really? Show me your list. You’ve tried everything? Good, show me everything that you’ve tried.” Guaranteed that’s a bunch of bull. People say it to me when I’m business coaching them, “Anna, I can’t get more followers. I’ve tried everything.” I’m like, “Show me your list? What have you tried so far?” There’s no real tangible list. It’s all in their mind. “So, you’re trying to lose weight?” “I’ve tried everything.” “Really? You’ve tried everything? Show me your list.” If it’s been the same thing for an entire year, well, I’m going to say you haven’t tried everything. You’ve just tried the same thing for far too long.
It’s time to mix it up. It’s time to go for it. You got to gain the wisdom. Over six years of growing my own online business, it’s like, “Man, I have made so many mistakes. I have tried so many things that didn’t work, but if I never did, I would never know what does work. I would never have progressed. I would have never developed better skills. I would have never grown as an entrepreneur.” Same thing in health, same thing in relationships. If you never go out and date, you’re never going to realize what kind of relationship you want. You’re never going to realize what kind of person you want to be with. You’re never going to realize what it takes to be a good communicator.
We’ve got to get out of the comfort zone in order to learn, and grow, and become more wise in the world. Getting that experience is never a waste of time. Checking things off the box is never a waste of energy. We’ve got to try things, explore, be adventurous in order to grow.
Are you with me? Do you get that? Do you feel that from me, because I hope that resonates with you. There’s too many people sitting back. Too many people afraid that something won’t go right or that it won’t work for them, but if you never try, you’ll never know.
It’s just like in business.
People are like, “Anna, you’re in network marketing business?” I’m like, “Heck yeah, I am. I never thought I would be, but I tried it.” Guess what happened? I found it to be amazing for me. I love it. I love working with more people. I love coaching and mentoring other fitness professionals. I love building a team. I love the income that you can earn when it’s not solely relied on just your efforts. Heck yeah, that was a model that was made for me, but I would have never known if I said, “Oh, no. I don’t like that MLM stuff.”
That’s judging an opportunity before I even understand it, or before I’ve even tried it. What did it cost me? $120. That’s right. I also tried to create a DVD program, and that costs me $25,000 and I failed. So the $120 investment, the $25,000 investment, one of them failed and that was the 25,000. Guess what? I then learned that, that’s not the route I want to go. That’s not the route for me. Now, when I talk to other people that want to do that, I’m like, “Here are some ideas. Here are some options. Let me give you my take and experience that makes me now a better business mentor and coach.” All learning, all growing, right?
Another benefit is that you will find better ways. So if you do take chances, there’s a very good chance you’re going to find a better way of doing things. You’re going to learn more. So, if you sit back and say, “My routine is pretty comfortable. I don’t really know if I want to try this new workout system you got. I don’t really know if I want to try Shakeology that you talk about. I’m not really sure I want to give up my dairy and whatever.” For so many people that are hesitant to do a cleanse that I host every year, or they’re hesitant to try super foods that I drink every day, or they’re hesitant to try a workout calendar I put in my membership program because they don’t want to change. They’re afraid to go there.
The thing that I have to say about that truly is really, you got to step back and say, “What if that’s a better way than what I’ve been doing?” Because you’ll find many times in life that when you try someone else’s strategies, you’ll find a better way even if it’s not their way. You’ll take your way, mesh it with their way, and all the sudden there’s a better way. I’ve learned so much from my influencers and it’s not always exactly what they recommend. It’s not always exactly what they do, but I’m like, “Oh, but the way that I was doing it can be improved if I add a little bit, and sprinkle a little bit of what they said on to it.”
My husband gives me great advice all the time, but I don’t take it verbatim. I sprinkle it into what I feel is going to be best. Sometimes, we have to be open to these things in order to find a better way for our goals, for the results that we want. Remember, this is about stepping out of the comfort zone, not doing the same thing and expecting a different result. It doesn’t matter if it’s in your health, in your relationships, your career, your business, or whatever it might be. You’ve got to step outside the comfort zone, go for it, take chances, try new things, don’t let the fears, the excuses, the process hold you back because you’re going to grow. You’re going to find better ways and you’re going to become more open to change.
You’re going to become more confident in your ability to decide what is good for you.
What is not good for you? What is going to get you to the next level? What is not going to get you to the next level? Some people don’t have confidence because they haven’t failed enough. To be very honest with you, I’m so confident in taking more chances in life and trying new things and being adventurous because I have failed. When you experience failure, you build a thicker skin. It’s just like you mothers out there that have had two, three, four kids. Man, that’s not easy, but now you’re like, “I got a thicker skin.”
I’m on my first one. I’m like, “Oh my gosh, this is horror. This is scary. This is all these things,” but I don’t have the experience yet.
Someone who’s been through it two or three times is more confident like, “Yeah, let’s get pregnant. Let’s have another one. I know the deal.” I can see that. I think the same thing goes when, “Oh, I try this and this business opportunity didn’t work for me. Now, I’m more confident that I can try other things and I’ll be able to decide. What’s better for me? What’s good for me? What’s going to help me grow in the way that I want?” You’re going to be more open. Remember, being open to change and actually more confident to take those chances and to make those opportunities really help you progress in your life.
This is a very important topic for everyone.
Share this with your friends. Share this with your family. Share this with people that you mentor. Remember that we got to keep our ears and our eyes open to when these things appear, not only in our own life, but for other people. Are you hearing the hesitation? Are you hearing the fear? Are you hearing the comfort? Are you feeling it from people and say, “Hey, what if it does work out? What if you learn from this experience? What if it is a better way? What if you’re able to mentor someone after you experience that because you learned and you grew? What if, you just gained more confidence because of that failure?” Give them that wisdom. Share this podcast with them. Please, because this conversation is one that I don’t think ends here, it’s ongoing because there’s so many components to it.
I hope today that you take a second and reflect on your own choices in front of you. If you’re looking for a specific outcome in your life right now and you’ve tried everything, reassess. Have I tried everything? Am I resistant to trying new things? Am I doing the same thing and expecting a different result? Because I can tell you right now, I always reevaluate my fitness, my relationships, my business productivity, all those things. My team engagement, my mental wellness, all those things that really matter to me, how do I want to get them to the next level? Then am I trying new strategies, new tools? Am I implementing new things into my life to elevate those different areas? Because if I’m not, I can’t expect a different outcome. That’s the bottom line. We can’t expect a different outcome if we’re always doing the same thing.
I hope you’ll take this to heart. You know every single week, I love connecting with you and chatting with you about a principle of living a more sexy and confident life. I know that each and every one of you that listen to this podcast or read the blog already possesses all the happiness, joy, confidence, fulfillment, and everything that you will ever need to live your most sexy confident life, but sometimes those things can be buried. Sometimes we can get lost. Sometimes we lose our way, and this podcast is to bring you back into that frame of mind. It’s to bring you back into the ideas, and the habits, and the practices that are going to get you right back on track.
I hope today in learning that it’s okay to take new chances, new opportunities, develop new skills, bring new things into your life in order for you to get to the next level to where you want to go. Next time an opportunity comes your way, next time something seems a little scary, you go after it girl – as long as it’s safe.
For more ways to elevate your confidence and progress forward towards your goals, take my FREEDOM Assessment!