We have all seen the movie right?
Sleeping Beauty and the magic mirror that drives the wicked queen mad. She hates Sleeping Beauty so much because the mirror keeps telling her that she is not the fairest of them all.
I never really thought about this fairytale story in a realistic sense until I started asking more women what they think of themselves when they look in the mirror.
To my dismay, I’ve come to find out that our world is full of magic mirrors; making women feel bad about themselves, unhappy with what they see, and/or unsatisfied with who they are.
It’s time to change the conversation with our mirror.
The magic mirror is this image and perception we have of ourselves.
We have complete control over what it says because it’s really just our thoughts reflecting back at us.
If the wicked queen only knew…. she’d have been so much happier, more content, less stressed and less angry.
If she had just changed the conversation in her mind, those thoughts being reflected from her magic mirror would have said, “you are the fairest of them all”.
Don’t Be a Sucker Like In The Storybooks
I want to bust a few myths about how to feel happier and more in love with yourself so that you don’t become a sucker just like the evil queen.
1. Weight Loss is NOT the answer:
Most women think they have to lose weight before they can create a healthy and more loving conversation about themselves in their minds. This isn’t true because no matter how much weight you lose, you’ll always want to improve something else. It’s human nature. Self-acceptance doesn’t come from reaching goals, it comes from changing our mindset from “I’m not good enough” to “I love myself” as we take the journey towards those goals.
2. There is no perfect world or woman:
We have this perception that there is this ideal woman, body, shape, or size. This is so far from the truth. What’s perfect about the body is that it comes in so many shapes and sizes. Trying to obtain the look of someone else is a losing battle! We should be trying to be the best version of ourselves and love ourselves enough to set that intention. Enjoy every small win and lift our ambitions for what our best is, not what someone else’s best looks like.
3. Looking different WON’T make you happy:
There is this idea that if we change our nose, lips, waistline, hips or hair color we’ll be happier. I’ve heard women talk to each other about how excited they’ll be or how happy they’ll be when they lose 10lbs, get their hair highlighted or plump their lips a little. Truth is, having these goals or objectives is totally fine and up to you, but relating these changes to our level of happiness is not. Happiness comes from within our hearts and minds. It’s how we accept and love ourselves. You can be happy – starting right now if you want to.
I know the most beautiful, amazing talented women who are unhappy. I also know the most joyous and happy individuals who have more to accomplish, goals to reach and imperfections they embrace. Happy is a choice not a destination.
Are You Like Sleeping Beauty?
I grew up feeling like the underdog from all these fairytale movies. Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, The Little Mermaid. I always related to the “kind yet mistreated” character for some reason… I guess because I grew up poor and less fortunate but with a heart and passion of a princess.
I bet most of you related to the underdog in the fairytale movies growing up! Then somewhere along the lines maybe you lost touch with her.
I would bet that when you were a young girl, you danced in front of the mirror, played dress up in different clothes, felt pretty and beautiful with pink lipstick on from your big sister or mom.
I sure did…. I’d straight up have dance parties by myself in 5 different outfits.
Can you remember how it felt to play in front of the mirror? When was the last time you did?
Can you remember what you were thinking about yourself?
Some of you are even watching your little girls do this now!
Would you ever tell your daughter or younger self that she is ugly without makeup, fat, flawed or too wrinkled?
What makes it ok that we tell this to ourselves now?
It’s hurtful, it’s harmful and it’s not ok.
The Mirror Can Stay
It’s not the mirror that has to go. I want you to dance, sing, and love the woman looking back at you in that mirror.
The Conversation Must Change
What can’t stay are the thoughts and negative beliefs we’ve been rehearsing in front of the mirror.
There are 3 big reasons we have to change the conversations we’re having with ourselves.
1. We are what we think:
Have you ever heard this quote by Buddha, “We are what we think. All that we are arises in our thoughts”. So, if you don’t believe me, I know you can believe Buddha.
If we rehearse a thought or mantra in our mind everyday, chances are it will shape who we become or what we create. If the conversation we’ve been having over the past year or years has been negative, hurtful, or unloving it’s been holding us in a place of negativity, fear, shame, and loneliness.
Just think about it.
How does it make you feel when someone says, “you are fat”?
It feels negative.
You might feel ashamed of who you are.
You might feel like withdrawing from society a little.
It might make you feel lonely.
How does it make you feel when you someone says, “you are beautiful”?
It feels positive.
You get a rush of energy.
You feel proud of who you are.
You are inspired to go out and meet others and engage more.
You feel love.
When we repeat negative, hurtful or unloving thoughts in our minds we are creating a person we don’t want to be. We are creating a toxic environment we don’t want to live in and would never want our children to live in.
It’s time to change how we think in order to change who we become.
It takes 300 repetitions to rewire our thought process.
So starting today, let’s be sure that the thoughts and beliefs being rehearsed in the mirror or anywhere throughout the day get kicked to the curb.
Write down all the negative, self-limiting beliefs that you have in your mind and replace them with positive, empowering beliefs instead. GO!
2. Our thoughts and beliefs dictate our joy:
Just as I mentioned earlier, “looking different won’t make you happy”, we have to choose happiness in order to experience joy.
When we change the conversation and change the way we speak to ourselves, we are essentially bringing more joy instantly into our lives.
Who doesn’t want to experience life with more joy in it?
I believe that joy is the one feeling or emotion that every single human being strives for. We all want more of it. It’s the reason we do almost everything in life.
We work hard so that we can save and take a vacation with our family! JOY!
We exercise so that we have energy to crush the day and feel successful! JOY!
We work on our relationships so we have laughter and connection with our loved ones and friends! JOY!
So if you could bring more JOY into your life by simply changing the thoughts and beliefs that haven’t been serving you…instead they’ve been hurting you….why not do it?
If you believe that there is a direct connection between joy and positive mindset, you’ll more likely take this seriously and make the change.
3. Our day-to-day feelings create our life experience:
This is huge. I want you to stop and think about this. Our day-to-day feelings create our life experience. I had to write this twice so that you would read it twice, think about it twice and let it sink in twice as long.
We have been talking about what that mirror (aka our thoughts) have been saying to us lately.
- Is that conversation helping us in our lives or hurting us?
- Are those thoughts creating the person we want to be and environment we want to live in?
- Do we have joy in our lives to create a life experience that brings us happiness, laughter, love and connection?
- Do we feel positive and empowered to create a life experience that gives us confidence, influence, purpose and success?
Connect the Dots
If we think about how we want to experience life, we must connect the dots right back to how we perceive ourselves in the mirror.
We have to connect back to the conversations we are having about how we feel about ourselves.
If we can choose to dance, sing and love that woman in the mirror…we can create a wonderful and fulfilling life experience.
1. Have a positive and empowering conversation with your mirror everyday! Don’t be a sucker like the wicked queen.
2. When negative self-limiting beliefs come into your mind, catch it and replace it with something uplifting and loving.
3.Write down 3 new Mantras that make you feel good about yourself and start repeating them multiple times throughout the day. (Example: I am proud of myself)