The Power of Progress vs. Need For Perfection
What the heck is with perfectionism? What’s perfect? Who defines perfect?
We’ve been brainwashed by everything that’s in the magazines, Hollywood, and on TV. All of the ideals that are in this world have told us what “perfect” is. And that’s what we want to achieve, right?
But isn’t beauty in the eye of the beholder? Is that the most fundamental lesson that was ever taught to us?
Perfectionism that is splattered all over social platforms – the perfect, ideal bodies and the airbrushed magazine covers – is NOT reality!
Maybe since I have to be on TV and video I have a different kind of reality with the expectations I have for myself. I live my life a certain way to live up to those expectations.
I want to be a role model in fitness, therefore, I want to have optimal fitness.
It’s my job, right?
“Anna, you’re so lucky. Your job is to exercise.”
They’re right. I am lucky. It’s my lifestyle, it’s my job. So is being a high performer.
I coach people on living a high performance lifestyle, so I practice it myself.
It’s not a “job” to me, it’s my life.
I want you to look at what YOUR ideals are. Ask yourself, “Is that reality for me? Is that realistic for my lifestyle?”
Say your ideal body – because maybe you’re not happy with where you are with your fitness – is an Olympic athlete in a commercial who’s ripped, gorgeous and perfect.
Are you comparing yourself to her? Are you expecting yourself to look like that and to perform as she performs?
What about other areas of your life?
Do you look at actresses on TV and in the movies and say, “I want to look like that” and feel unhappy with how you look?
Then you need to take a big step back and look at your ideals to see if they’re aligned with our ideal lifestyle.
Those of you who are moms and are raising a family – I envy you.
Some day I want to have a family myself. I look at a mother, my mother for instance, as someone I aspire to be like. I want to be as strong as her. I want to be as confident. I want to be someone who can teach a young person to be a good person in the world, that can role model a healthy lifestyle and make somebody feel good about themselves.
In order to raise a role model, you have to be a role model.
It’s a BIG responsibility.
Do you give yourself enough credit? Are you comparing yourself to the TV actresses?
If you’re raising a family, would you give up your kids, give up your life in order to go train for three hours on a track to be an Olympic athlete?
Because that’s what you’d have to do.
You have to think about the alignment between what you think is perfect and what is reality – because you’ve been brainwashed.
We all have.
It’s not your fault, it’s what is in our faces.
It’s what’s in magazines, what’s on TV, what you read. It’s what we see.
Don’t get caught up in all that by comparing yourself to what looks perfect. It’s in the eye of the beholder.
I want to look at something completely different – progress.
If you have a notebook, I want you to set a new goal.
If your goal has been to have this ideal, perfect body and six-pack abs, and you won’t be happy with yourself until you get that, I want you to set a new goal.
I want you to set a goal for progress.
Progress means that you’re continuously improving.
When your goal is progress, to continuously get better, you’re not going backwards.
You’re not getting lazier, more unhealthy, more unmotivated, less confident.
You’re making progress in your life – which means you’re continuously WINNING.
Make that your goal instead of aiming for perfection, because perfection means you’re continuously losing.
If every day you want to be perfect, but you don’t even really know if you could ever achieve it because your lifestyle is completely different that what that perfect person has, you’ll be continuously losing – every day.
By aiming for progress, you’re continuously winning in life because you’re doing the right things for yourself. You’re progressing in life, you’re getting better, you’re getting healthier, more confident, and more motivated.
Do you want to be winning or losing?
It’s a no brainer!
Another reason I want progress to be your goal over perfection is because progress means that you are continuously motivated and satisfied with yourself.
Hell yeah!
When you’re progressing, you’re continuously feeling satisfied, motivated, ready for that next step.
But when you’re aiming for perfection, you’re always frustrated and dissatisfied, versus satisfied and motivated.
You know which one of those feels better.
Nobody needs frustration and disappointment in their life, especially when they’re doing so many good things for themselves.
I want you to take a step back and say, “Yeah, Anna, you’re right. I’m comparing myself to all these other people and places and things that aren’t even a part of my reality, and then I’m disappointed in myself, even though I had an amazing day, I have an amazing family, I feel energized, I’m exercising great. But I don’t have this perfect image of what I perceive I should have.
I really want you to start thinking differently about your progress every single day.
I think if your focus is progress and not perfection, that will lead you to the healthiest and happiest life.
If we’re always progressing, can you imagine what would happen?
GOOD things, right?
Is your mindset shifting? We just pulled out a weed. Do you know what it was?
It was the weed of perfection, and we just pulled it by the roots.
When we did that, we threw out the disappointment, dissatisfaction, and frustration as well.
We threw away the need for perfection and comparing ourselves to people and places that their ideals don’t fit our personal lifestyles.
I guarantee if you want to change your life and your lifestyle because you’re unhappy, then you will. But, a lot of us are really happy with our lifestyle. I know I am.
A lot of people say, “Anna I can’t believe you drink wine. That’s got to hurt the abs a little bit.”
My response?
“I don’t care!” I don’t need to fix that. I need a glass of wine with my husband on occasion when we just want to chill out.
That’s a lifestyle for me. That’s what I like.
And I’m happy.
See, the ultimate thing in life, in my opinion, is our happiness.
That’s what we’re striving for.
Have you read the book Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi? If not, you’ve got to read it.
It’s about our ambition in life and striving for happiness.
That’s what we want. We want to be in a state of flow where we’re most joyous.
Real change comes in when you’re unhappy and you need to make real changes so that you can make progress towards what you want your lifestyle to look like.
I think it’s really important that while you’re going through my trainings, you’re doing a lot of reflection. Take the time to journal some of this and remember beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I say that because I have always been one of those people that likes the abstract. I like things when they’re kind of off center and kind of crooked, maybe a little disoriented.
I’ve always been an abstract kind of gal.
I like things when they’re imperfect.
I like wearing things that don’t totally match, because everyone else wants to match. My friends used to say, “Anna, that is sooo not in style.” And I would say, “but it’s in style for me.”
I like to add a splash of my unique character.
I don’t need things to be perfect, because imperfection brings joy to my life.
I want you to think about what beauty is to you. What is a happy lifestyle for you? Can you be happy with those things for yourself?
If we’re always looking in the mirror and wer’e judging and comparing ourselves to others, just waiting to be as perfect as we think they are, we’re going to live a life of disappointment and frustration.
Beauty is in your eyes.
Whatever is beautiful to you is all that matters.
It starts with you.
It starts with what you see through your own eyes – how you think and feel about yourself.
You are beautiful. So many people think so.
You have to believe and think it too – that’s where it all begins.
So, today, I hope you take this lesson and you think on this.
And I hope your new goal becomes progress over perfection.
