We Can’t Find Happiness…
We can’t FIND something that isn’t hidden or missing!
Happiness is not this buried treasure or distant goal we hope to attain.
Happiness already exists within each and every one of us.
….we consciously have to let it come out to play.
I believe that almost every decision we make and every effort we put forth is in attempt to bring happiness into our lives or into the lives of others (which ultimately makes us happy as well).
- We exercise to release feel good hormones that make us happy…to feel fit and strong which makes us happy… to accomplish a daily challenge which brings us satisfaction and joy.
- We work hard at our jobs to make our bosses happy which makes us happy that we did well.
- We buy ourselves flowers because it makes us happy.
- We send holiday cards to show love to our friends and family, which makes them happy and makes us happy.
Well, if happiness is our #1 desired feeling or state of emotion, why are so many people unhappy and why do we find ourselves in states of unhappiness so often as well?
I narrow it down to two big reasons:
- We can’t always control our external environment and what happens to us or those around us.
- jerk boss
- someone with road rage
- mean grocery clerk
- abusive spouse
- disobedient kids
- death of a loved one
- natural disasters
- freak accidents
- trolls online
- business deals that fail
- nobody joins your program….
….life can be a real bummer sometimes.
- The second reason we find ourselves in states of unhappiness is because we choose to let those external factors dictate the quality of our life.
- we get resentful at our boss
- we feel angry and swear at that person driving
- we feel sad by how the clerk treated us
- we feel ashamed and scared instead of leaving our spouse
- we feel frustrated by our kids
- we won’t accept the death of our loved ones
- we curse the environment or heavens for our lost homes and belongings
- we remain deeply hurt or scarred by what a complete stranger types on his/her computer about us
- we quit on our business dreams because we fear more failure.
How we feel about ourselves, the joy we get from living, ultimately depends directly on how the mind filters and interprets everyday experiences.
We cannot control the external world but we can choose to navigate within it and make the best of it for our survival and joy.
But ultimately to do this, we must learn to master our inner self.
What do I mean by inner self?
It’s the way we think about ourselves, treat others, engage struggle, enjoy simple pleasures, contribute to the world. It’s who we are and how we think at the deepest and most basic level.
I created The Sexy Confident Woman Formula to empower women to get in the driver’s seat of their own life and destiny because it requires you to think about so many big and small areas of your life and how you are living. It’s asking you to assess the choices you are making and if they align with your goals and ambitions.
My SCWF program is geared to help you develop your strongest inner self so that ultimately you can enjoy every single day of your life with more joy and enthusiasm.
Right now I want you to assess the level of happiness you have in your life.
Write it down.
On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate your day-to-day experience in life?
1 being that you feel miserable everyday all day.
10 being that you feel happy and joyous almost everyday all day.
Some people are looking for external pleasures and things like money, cars, houses, friends, career, weight loss or cosmetic surgery to make them happy…
They keep thinking…
If I lose this weight, then I’ll be happy.
If I get that promotion, then I’ll be happy.
If I fall in love then I’ll be happy.
If buy that porche then I’ll be happy…..
These external pleasures only provide short-term bursts of happiness in our lives and it’s been proven over and over and over again.
Some of the most successful, beautiful, talented, gifted people in the world are still depressed and seeking happiness.
There is only one real solution to find joy and fulfillment in life, we must make a conscious effort to interpret and experience life in a way that makes us happy.
I want to talk about different ways we can begin to do that.
(This stems from the book FLOW by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi)
- Lead a purpose driven life.
- Take care of your health to perform at your best
- Contribute your best effort everyday
- Treat people with the utmost respect.
- Be open to trying a variety of experiences.
- Try new foods
- Go on an adventure
- Check out a play or art show
- Keep learning everyday until the day you die
- Always be reading
- Go to conferences
- Take new courses
- Develop deep and meaningful relationships with all the people in your environment.
- Call your family once in a while
- Invite friends over for dinner
- Send a co-worker flowers
- Enjoy whatever you are doing, tedious or difficult
- Write that book or code and enjoy the experience of it
- Mow that lawn and use the time to reflect on what you are grateful for.
- Write those holiday cards and put on your favorite music and have a glass of wine.
- Decide to never be bored.
- There is always something to do…
- Don’t waste your life lying around
- Take in stride whatever comes your way.
- Life will be going really well and then sometimes life will get really hard, be ready.
- There is no reason for tragedy, death or disease, so bring reason to how you will deal with it.
Make these 7 different action steps a part of your LIFE philosophy!
When we set goals and accomplish them we always strive for more, setting new goals to achieve. This is ok as long as we enjoy the struggle along the way and find pleasure in the present as we work towards those goals.
…because ultimately growth and process is the story of our lives.
If we don’t enjoy it, we don’t enjoy our life.
For learn more about having a SMART mindset, grab Anna’s SMART Step Planner to having a more positive and empowered mindset.